


My Dark Black Sun

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood, Blood Kink, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Alec Lightwood, Dark Jace Wayland, Dubious Morality, Eros AU, Feral Behavior, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Killing, Knifeplay, M/M, Oral Sex, Parabatai, Possessive Sex, Revenge, Rough Sex, Smut, Top Jace Wayland, at least for Jalec, corrupted bond, marking through cutting, murder couple Jalec, parabatai love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:49:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29556585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: When Jace and Alec meet, they are instantly drawn to each other. It is as if they have finally found what they have been looking for their whole life. Their instant friendship turns into more, and they decide to become Parabatai. When their souls connect, the world outside the pair of them starts to lose meaning. They have each other, and that is all that matters. They dance the line of being Parabatai and lovers for a while without crossing it. When a Shadowhunter accuses Alec of having committed Eros, Jace kills the thread – and by that, he pushes them finally over the edge and they give in to their desires. Slowly their bond grows stronger than before and their focus shifts even more to each other. The world could burn and both wouldn’t care as long as the other is safe. The only question is if it’s them who has set the world on fire or if the world burns on its own.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 36
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Windy92](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windy92/gifts).



> For Windy 💙 Happy Birthday meine Liebe 💙 I hope you'll have an amazing day and you'll enjoy my gift for you 💙
> 
> A huge thank you to Jessa for being my beta!
> 
> This story will get rather dark, but never between Jace and Alec.

Jace always felt the darkness. He saw it in the eyes of his father. In the nights that surrounded him when he lay awake in the loneliness of his room. But foremost he felt it when the darkness burned through his veins like fire each time his father carved a new rune into his skin. He felt his body light up with it, bringing him so far unknown power. His body burned with the intensity of the angelic grace that ran in his blood. And like a fire, the grace left only black ashes behind. Each time a rune flared up on his body, the darkness took another part of him. Each rune made him faster. Steadier. Stronger. Each rune pushed him a little more into the shadows. 

Jace was not afraid of the darkness. The darkness was part of him, had always been part of him. And why should he fear a gift from the angels? He knew heavenly fire coursed through him, making his eyes shine golden and his soul turn darker so that he could do what needed to be done. Hunt. Capture. Kill. He was just a boy, but it was clear what was expected of him. Be the best. Be strong. Be it on your own. Because love destroyed. 

When his father died and he was passed on to the Lightwoods, it didn’t take Jace long to feel at home. He recognized the same darkness his father had carried in the eyes of Maryse Lightwood and another shade of black in the dead eyes of Robert. It was not their eyes that startled him. It were warm hazel eyes that changed the spin of his world. They carried a light Jace was not used to. A light that had not been part of his life so far. But would soon become his world. Alec Lightwood would soon become his world. 

* * *

“Wow, easy, we’re on the same side.” Jace held up his hands, his eyes fixed on Alec whose arrow had nearly hit him, wondering if his words were true. If someone who had such light in him could be on the same side as he was. Alec stared at him, their eyes locked, both lost in the moment. Both not fully understanding what was happening, but aware that something was happening. Something that would alter their worlds. They were just fourteen and thirteen years old, but both were older than their age. Both had seen things and done things a normal child hadn’t. Both had never been real children, for slightly different reasons, but still. 

Jace had just been a warrior, from the day he was born. Even before then, he had already been molded into one - into the first Nephilim with pure angel blood. Everything his father had done later had just been to bring Jace closer to Valentine’s goal for him: be the best Shadowhunter in generations. Be the best killer.

Though Alec had been a child briefly, it had ended soon. His parents had supported the losing side of a war and had been sent into exile for it, only allowed to return to their home country upon request. They had to stay in New York and run an Institute. Robert and Maryse had brought shame to their name, had lost power and influence - things their eldest, Alec, was supposed to fix. From a wanted child he was turned into an heir whose purpose was to meet expectations. And the expectations were high. 

When now these two boys that had long stopped being children stood facing each other in the silence of a training room, their eyes locked, they recognized each other. They both were things they might not have wanted to be but still were. They both were looking, secretly, to be something else, too. And though Alec’s eyes carried a lightness Jace hadn’t known before, and Jace’s a darkness that Alec was not used to, they were not afraid. In the end, it was all a messy shade of grey anyway. 

“Same side,” Alec agreed, stepping closer to the boy, holding his hand out for the other to shake. An adult gesture, but Jace didn’t hesitate. He took the offered hand and when their fingers closed around the other, when skin brushed over skin, they both knew they had found what they had been looking for. Each other. 

* * *

“You need to show that idiot his place.” Jace glared at Alec, clearly not impressed with his friend’s performance during training. It was one of the rare occasions other kids were in the Institute. Some Shadowhunters from other Institutes were on a mission in New York and as it was custom, they lodged in the empty spare rooms of the Institute. Some of them had brought their children along, and Jace and Alec’s tutor, Hodge, had set up a training tournament. A tournament Jace planned to win together with Alec. Like he always planned to win, and always with Alec. 

Two sentences, one stare and the brushing of hands had sealed their friendship. From the day they had met they had been drawn together like magnets, and soon they had been inseparable. They trained together, studied together, lived together. And fought together, always having the other’s back. Against the intensity of their friendship, even Valentine's teachings had stood no chance and Jace was soon certain that his father had been wrong. He was not stronger alone, but together with Alec. 

Alec just glared back at Jace, shrugging. Jace was right. His opponent was an idiot and he really should show him his place. 

“Really, Alec. I know you can do better! And he will run his filthy mouth the whole time he’s here if you don’t shut him up. And yes, Alec, this means you have to fight dirty. He clearly has no problem to do so himself. Or I will handle him for you.” Jace still glared at Alec. It was not clear if he was more pissed at Alec for fighting alongside the rules or at the other boy, Sam, for breaking them and making Alec look bad. 

“He does fight dirty, doesn’t he?” Alec knew what his parents expected of him. Be the best. But still stick to the rules, ignoring that all others - including Jace - didn't. It was just unfair. And an impossible task. 

“Of course he does. He fights as dirty as the rest of us. Only you don’t, and that’s why you are losing. But you are better than he is. So much better.” Jace’s eyes softened shortly before the hard gleam settled back in. “I can take care of him if you want. I won’t stand by and let him beat you and brag about it later.”

“You know I don’t.” Alec gritted his teeth. Jace was right. It was time to start playing hardball. Like all others did already. Their eyes met briefly, and Jace nodded encouragingly. Jace’s complete trust in his abilities meant more to Alec than he let on. His parents never showed such full support, their disappointment that he was not _Jace_ and as good as he was always shining through. “I will kick his ass.” 

Jace’s scowl transformed instantly into a huge grin. “You sure as hell will, Alec. And don’t stop at kicking his ass. Kick his kidneys. His nose. Noses break easily.” He added with a wink and Alec just laughed. Of course he knew all that, but the casualty with which Jace was listing the things that would bring the victory made him relax. It was time for him to step up his game and play by his own rules. 

When he stepped back into the ring to face his opponent, he was calm. Calmer than he had been in all his fights before. He felt Jace’s stoic presence at his back and he knew he had this. When he locked eyes with the boy in front of him, a quiet smile washed over Alec’s face. He saw the instant fear in Sam’s gaze. Alec’s calm was dangerous, and the other recognized it for what it was. The calm of a predator seconds before he caught his prey. 

As expected, the other tried to fight dirty. There were rules for training fights and so far Alec had chosen to stick to them. Now he used them more as guidelines than actual rules. So when the other charged at him, aiming for his jaw, Alec just blocked the attack, turned a little - and crashed his elbow into the other’s face, satisfied when he heard the breaking noise of a bone. Noses really broke fast. In a second he had Sam down on the mattress, his bloody nose pressed into it, leaving him no choice but to tap out. 

Alec got up with a smirk on his face, met by Jace’s approving gaze. Alec felt the hot stare of Sam on his back when he left the ring, but he didn’t care. He just saw Jace’s eyes shine a shade brighter. Alec had done nothing the other hadn’t tried before. For the first time, they had fought on equal terms. And as predicted, the other had stood no chance against Alec. 

When later Alec got dragged into his mother’s office, Sam’s story sounded completely different, though. And Alec never felt more justified in his decision to fight dirty himself. Above everything, the other was a liar. He himself would have never turned the other in, no matter what tricks had been used on him. Sam clearly didn’t have such qualms. He lied to shine in a brighter light. To shove Alec in the shadows. But Alec was not afraid of the darkness. He knew Jace was there, waiting for him. He took his unjustified punishment stoically, a fact that angered Maryse and made her proud at the same time. 

And though the punishment hurt, mainly not on a physical level but on an emotional one, as his mother once again showed that she regarded the words of others higher than his own, Alec couldn’t help but feel pleased with himself. 

It had felt good to break the rules. It had felt good to break that boy's nose. It had felt good to feel Jace’s pride at him winning. Winning itself had felt good. Alec had always felt that rules were important. That not following them would lead to something disastrous or at least unpleasant. And in a way it had - he had been punished for it. But the punishment didn’t outweigh the exhilarating feeling of the victory. And as the other hadn’t played by the rules either, Alec couldn’t find in him to think he had done something wrong. Not any longer. Not when it had felt so good. 

“Alec.” 

The last traces of pain faded the moment Alec pushed the door to his room open to find Jace sitting on his bed, gracing him with one of his rare, radiant smiles that was laced with a hint of concern. It was the brightness together with the concern for him that made Alec forget everything else. Jace was there. Jace cared for him. And that was all that mattered.

“Are you okay?” Jace’s eyes narrowed slightly while he took in every inch of Alec’s body. But his smile didn’t falter.

Alec smiled back, throwing himself next to Jace. “Yeah. I kicked his ass. His face was priceless.” His smile transformed into a grin at the memory and when Jace started to laugh carefree, he joined in. 

“You did. You were so amazing Alec. There is no one who could beat you. Well, maybe me.” Jace winked at Alec, their eyes locking, and for a moment a serenity was taking over before Jace dragged his gaze away and started to laugh again. “That little brat really thought he was better than you. You were so fucking amazing, Alec.” 

Alec beamed under the praise while he lay down next to Jace, mirroring his posture. They lay close, nearly touching. Alec could feel the tingling on his skin were he _nearly_ brushed against Jace’s skin. He wondered what Jace would do if he dared to move just that tiny bit closer. But it was not Alec who moved, it was Jace. Alec’s breath caught in his throat when Jace shifted and suddenly his pinky was brushing against his own. Alec closed his eyes, relishing this feeling. Jace’s laughter. His shining eyes. His finger touching his. Wondering what the hot ball of fire curling in his belly meant. Jace was his friend, wasn’t he? But what if Jace was also something else? A thought that excited Alec but also scared him, so he shoved it back down, buried it in a part of his soul, to be able to look at it at a time he was braver. But he didn’t move away either, the touch of Jace too intoxicating to do anything other than stay right where he was. 

* * *

“Alec.” Jace elbowed Alec in the side. Hinting, with his chin, to the boy surrounded by others on the opposite side of the entrance hall of the London Institute. Jace grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes. 

They had accompanied Maryse and Robert to a Clave gathering in London. Jace was sixteen now and Alec seventeen. One year had passed since Alec had broken that boy’s nose. One year since Alec had stopped caring to follow every rule. He still did, most of the time, but he saw the appeal now to choose the rules he followed, like Jace had done way before him. One year since Alec had begun to suspect that there might be more feelings between him and Jace than pure friendship. One year since he had been punished unjustified, because that boy had lied. They hadn’t met again since but now he was here right in front of them, probably accompanying his own parents to the same gathering.

Jace’s grin deepened when he saw his own spark burning in Alec’s eyes. It had been one year, but the incident had not been forgotten. Not so much the fight itself. Fighting dirty was one thing. Lying about it and blaming the other was something else. Without having to talk about it, they both strolled towards Sam and his friends. Both casually but with the grace of cats ready to attack. Alec couldn’t help his heart beat faster in excitement when he saw the way Jace rolled his shoulders once and then flexed his muscles, his hand curling into a fist. 

“Hey, Sam. Remember us? We used to train together!” It was all the warning Sam got. The next second Jace’s fist was connecting with his jaw. Sam yelped in pain and surprise, but all air was driven out of his lungs when the next blow hit him in his stomach. Sam’s friends were quick to come to his aid, and someone’s fist found its target, and Alec tasted blood in his mouth. He heard Jace grunt in pain, but he still saw Jace’s eyes laughing. They were outnumbered but it didn’t matter. Jace and Alec fought united. They were so attuned to each other that they easily dominated the fight. 

Alec blocked a blow, intended for Jace, just to spin around and kick the other kid in his chest, who landed painfully on his ass. He duck under another punch to spin around but then he froze for a second. Someone was coming.

“Jace!” Alec warned at the nearing steps. Their eyes locked briefly, then they turned and simultaneously started to run. Jace was the first to reach the door. He pushed it open, grabbed Alec’s hand and together they jumped the few steps down that led to the London Institute. They didn’t look back, they just kept running, Jace activating his runes while he tried to do the same for Alec. He had discovered that he didn’t need a stele for his own runes, and ever since then he had tried to activate Alec’s too. To his dismay, he hadn’t mastered it yet, but he was determined to change that. Right now though he just could hold on to Alec’s hand and drag him along. 

They entered a park full of mundanes and when they realized that they were not being followed, they slowed down. Alec was panting heavily, but nevertheless he couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling. “ _We used to train together,_ ” Alec laughed. “I don’t think he knew what hit him.”

Jace just laughed with him, throwing himself under the shelter of a huge tree, pulling Alec down with him so that he nearly landed on top of him. Just nearly. And deep down Alec regretted that.

“He just got what he deserved.” Jace was still laughing, his whole body shaking with it. “The face of that boy when you blocked him, and instead of landing a blow you kicked him to the floor? That was everything, Alec.” 

“We are good together,” Alec agreed, eyeing Jace from the side, who lay on his back now, looking up at the sky through the leaves of the tree. Some rays of sun found their way through the treetop and lit up Jace’s face, his eyes sparkling in the sun, emphasizing their different colors. The blue of Jace’s eyes held so many different shades, Alec could get lost in them. But the most mesmerizing was the hint of gold that shone in the same color as the runes on Jace’s body. Right now, the blue was as rich and deep as Alec figured the ocean must be after a storm had smoothed the surface of the sea. 

“We are perfect, Alec. You and me, we just are.” Jace wasn’t laughing anymore, the playfulness had been replaced by serenity. 

Alec’s chest constricted painfully at the words. It was hard to describe what he felt. It was profound joy, a gratefulness to experience this exact moment with the exact right person. With his best friend, the best friend he knew he would ever have. Someone who didn’t hesitate but did everything to protect him. And everything really meant everything, Alec knew that. If he asked, Jace would do whatever he wanted. And this was an overwhelming feeling because Alec knew he would do the same for Jace. 

But beneath the joy lay a painful longing. A longing Alec still didn’t dare to truly consider yet knew was there. Urging him on to be more to Jace than just a friend. A longing for a deeper connection, a union in a way they didn’t have yet.

Jace rolled to his side, propping himself up on an elbow, facing Alec, who had copied Jace’s movement. Their faces were barely inches apart and Jace could feel Alec’s breath on his face. 

“Have you ever thought of becoming Parabatai?” Jace held his breath. He had thought so much about Parabatai but the question had left his mouth before he had been able to stop it. Jace loved the relationship he shared with Alec. The closeness, the perception, the intimacy. Change was not always good. Sometimes it was frightening. But something in him craved for an even closer connection. Something wanted to become even more attuned. And what was closer than becoming literal soulmates? Then allowing the other to protect a piece of your own soul, and do the same in return? To feel the other’s true essence burning in your own soul? Nothing. Nothing compared to the bond of Parabatai, forged in three holy rings of fire, fueled by ancient words and the most powerful rune the Shadow World possessed: the Parabatai rune. The only thing that was missing was to seal it with blood. 

“Parabatai?” Alec weighed the sound of the word on his tongue. He hadn’t. But when he saw his own longing reflected in Jace’s eyes, the same acknowledgement that they went further than just being friends, he tried it again. “Parabatai.” 

Melting your soul with the other’s, becoming more than the sum of two individuals. Forging a bond that could never be broken because souls were forever. You couldn’t just give someone a piece of your soul and then demand it back, without destroying the other and yourself in the process. That was just not how souls worked. Parabatai were forever. But so were he and Jace. 

“Parabatai!” And without thinking, Alec took Jace’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “We will get punished for beating Sam and sneaking out,” Alec said through a silence that settled around them after that, in which they drank in the sight of each other and marvelled at new possibilities. 

Jace just smiled at that and shrugged. “We will but I don’t care. _Parabatai_.” 

Jace’s lips curled into a smile that instantly reached his eyes and Alec smiled along. He didn’t care either. He had Jace to get punished alongside him. _His_ Parabatai. 

* * *

“You need two witnesses for the ceremony. Have you already chosen yours?” Maryse looked at the boys standing in front of her desk. She hadn’t been surprised by their request, they had always been close. They had both passed the necessary tests with flying colors, though she had made them wait several months before applying for the actual ceremony. But Alec’s nineteenth birthday drew closer and they had to move things along to meet the age requirements of the Clave. 

“What? No. We don’t want witnesses. This is something between Alec and me, and not someone else's business.” Jace glared at Maryse, his chin raised defiantly. 

“But it’s tradition, Jace.” Maryse glared back.

“I don’t care about tradition. It’s not necessary for the ceremony. No one has any right to witness this.” The thought of sharing a moment meant only for him and Alec felt so wrong. Jace hated the idea that a Silent Brother had to be present but his request to perform the ritual the old way - like Jonathan Shadowhunter and David the Silent had done it, with blood - had been instantly dismissed. But he wouldn’t let anyone beside the Silent Brother destroy this moment with Alec. He would give Alec a piece of his soul. Alec would see all the darkness inside of him but also the light Alec had brought into his soul already. And he would receive a piece of Alec in return. There was just no room for someone else in this scenario; Alec had always been enough for him.

“We will do it without witnesses,” Alec confirmed calmy, but with determination. “This is about Jace and me. We confirmed it with the Silent Brother who will perform the ceremony. They are not needed.” 

Maryse nodded with a sigh, because against the united front of Alec and Jace she stood no chance. And she knew if she forced them now they would probably just perform the ritual completely on their own, with blood instead of a Silent Brother. And this was not in the Clave’s best interest. 

* * *

The heavenly fire burned cold, matching the bluish tone of the flames. The first two rings stood already in flames. The third, their joint ring, would light up the moment they set foot in it to recite the last sentence of the oath together. 

They had chosen one of the rarely used rooms in the Institute, in the west wing of the old church, far away from all daily business. They didn’t want to get disturbed. The Silent Brother was a necessary factor, but even his presence was one person too much. Jace and Alec each stood inside a burning circle, the flames reaching up to their waists. Their eyes were locked, fire dancing in them. Jace had never felt calmer. 

His stele was already in his hand, the familiar weight adding to his calm. He knew the shape of the Parabatai rune by heart. There was a beauty to it with its clear swings and edges that radiated power at the same time. He couldn’t wait to place the rune on Alec’s skin. To mark Alec as his, inevitably. Though Alec had been his from day one. 

The first words of the holy oath left Jace’s mouth without him having to think about them. His eyes stayed glued to Alec’s and the shine he saw there was like a window to Alec’s soul he would soon feel. And not only feel. He would possess one part of Alec. A part that carried Alec's inner core. 

His words were repeated by Alec, his certainty mirrored. Alec’s voice didn’t tremble or shake, it was steady and filled with the same calm Jace felt. There was no room for doubt between them. The last line they spoke together in unison, easily falling into the same rhythm. They stepped forward into the third ring, and suddenly the heavenly fire flared up high. The flames shone bright in a yellowish light, heat radiating from them, nearly burning them. 

Alec’s stele felt cold on Jace’s hot skin, but it was not this that made Jace gasp in awe. It was the way Alec dropped to his knees, looking up at him with so much love in his eyes that it took Jace’s breath away. He couldn't wait to not only see this love, but to truly feel it. For a moment Alec just knelt in front of him, his stele pressed to the spot on Jace’s hip they had chosen. 

When Alec’s hand started to move, Jace felt the familiar tingling on his skin that soon grew hotter and more intense than Jace had ever experienced it. The rune felt like liquid fire, burning into his skin, but not stopping there. It sank into his skin, entered his body, made its way through each layer of himself, until it reached his soul. The rune burned right into it, burning a hole into it to make room for Alec, taking a part of his own soul away. To give to Alec. 

Jace’s gasp turned into a groan, tinted with pain but also awe. The feeling of being split open was more intense than he had ever imagined. And he knew it was just the beginning. He hadn’t drawn Alec’s yet. 

When Alec stumbled to his feet again, it was Jace who dropped to his knees with the same ease and implicitness Alec had shown. He smiled when Alec pushed his shirt up to give him better access to his flawless skin, just above the waistband of his jeans. Jace pulled it down a little and to his astonishment, he saw his hand holding his stele trembling ever so slightly. But then their eyes locked again and when Jace placed his stele on Alec’s skin, there was no hint of shaking left. 

He drew the rune in one fluid motion and already, even while still drawing it, he felt the power it held. Alec’s mouth opened in a silent _o_ and his hand entangled in Jace’s hair, not knowing what else to do. Jace felt the same shudder running through Alec’s body while drawing, and he knew what was going on inside Alec. The rune would burn right through Alec’s being like it had burned through his. And then they would finally be united, melted together at the most vulnerable spot a human being possessed: the soul. 

When the rune was finished, there was nothing that held Alec on his feet. He dropped beside Jace and their bodies found each other like, inside them, their souls did. Alec slung his arms around Jace’s neck, Jace’s arms embraced Alec’s shoulders fiercely. While inside, the fire of the sacred bond flared up once more. The pain intensified and a shiver ran over both of them when the piece of the other squirmed and writhed until it found its rightful place, right in the middle of its Parabatai’s soul, guarded and protected as best as possible. 

But the fire didn’t stop burning. It burned until both felt not only their own heartbeat, but the one of the other alongside it. It burned until their hearts attuned to the same rhythm, beating as one. It burned until their breathing evened out, and their chests heaved up and down simultaneously. Here, in the embrace of his Parabatai, Jace felt more at home than he ever had. When the burning subsided, they completely collapsed into each other and they stayed like that, curled into each other on the floor, long after the Silent Brother had left the room. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Jessa for being my beta!  
> Thank you Windy for the amazing story banners 💙

“Why?” Jace stared at Hodge, a clear frown on his face and a gleam in his eyes that made their tutor look away briefly before he found the strength to return Jace’s heated stare. 

“Because it’s important. You two need to be able to close your bond. You two need to stay separate.” Hodge sounded a little desperate. Alec and Jace had always been difficult to train, Jace too skilled and strong-willed for his own good, Alec too eager to follow his friend’s example. They had always been a delight to train because they had been so willing to push their limits. To become better. The best. But lately, Hodge felt them slipping away from him. Before, they had been willing to listen. Now they just heard what they wanted to hear. And he had no idea how to change that. 

Jace just huffed, a faint hint of disgust washing over his face. “And how would you even know? You are not a Parabatai, are you? And that Alec and I feel each other is the fucking point of this bond. How can I protect him if I don’t know exactly where he is and what is going on with him?” 

Ever since their ceremony, Hodge had tried to make the two get used to their bond. Though _getting used to_ was not really the right term. The bond between Jace and Alec had instantly clicked into place, the emotions flowing between them effortlessly. They hadn’t needed time to adjust, to _get used to_ it; their bond was as deep and instant as their connection at their first meeting. And all would be fine if the others would just leave them _alone._ But Hodge was constantly hovering over them, telling them how to practice separating their feelings. How to close themselves off from the other. When all Jace wanted was to suck Alec deeper into himself until Alec’s complete soul would be buried inside him. For him to cherish. Protect. Love. 

Jace agreed that they needed to train and practice. Just not what Hodge suggested. He needed to train to be fully functional while Alec was in pain. He needed to know exactly where and how injured Alec was. He needed to feel that. But he also needed to learn to fight as if he didn’t feel it, as he needed to be able to save Alec in every circumstance. And Alec needed to learn that as well. But instead of practicing _that_ with them, Hodge kept talking about setting boundaries. As if they needed _that._

“I’m done here. Alec?” Without gracing Hodge with another glance, Jace ended their training session abruptly by scooping up his training weapon and leaving the room. And, of course, Alec followed, already moving towards the door when Jace hadn’t even fully finished his sentence. 

* * *

When Alec stepped upon the rooftop into the chilly night air, his lips curled instantly into a smile. Jace was already there, setting up a target in the farthest corner of the roof. With two quick steps Alec was by his side, his hand reaching out before he even made a conscious decision about it. They had been on separate missions this afternoon, the first time since they had become Parabatai. He needed Jace now as close as possible. 

Jace smiled the soft smile that was reserved only for his Parabatai while he let himself be pulled close until their foreheads were pressed together. Alec’s hand rested at the nape of Jace’s neck, a comfortable and so familiar feeling, and yet it made Jace’s whole body tingle with excitement, their bond humming with approval and his eyes turning a shade darker. 

“What are you doing here?” Alec asked after the silence had stretched on comfortably for an eternity, both of them taking the needed time to recharge their need for physical closeness. 

“I’m setting up a training stand for you.” Jace didn’t draw away, not just yet. Alec had been gone for too long to let go of him so soon. He had thrown his own arms around Alec’s shoulders and his thumb was absentmindedly stroking circles into Alec’s back.

“You think I need more training?” Alec frowned at the question, but he wasn’t offended. If Jace thought he needed to train something, there was certainly a truth to it. And he was determined to be better than he had ever been, he was carrying the most precious thing in himself after all. A part of Jace’s soul. 

“Hmm… we both do. But you first, Alec.” When Jace finally pulled away, his eyes were nearly black. The blue had transformed into a rich navy just like the sea at the deepest point of an ocean, blurring into the ink black of his iris. With a reluctant sigh, Jace disentangled himself from Alec and turned away to fetch the bow he had prepared. He placed it in Alec’s hands, who was still clueless about what was happening. The distance was far, but nothing he wouldn’t manage to hit in his sleep.

“Okay,” he simply said, nevertheless reaching for the bow and taking his usual stand, nocking an arrow and lifting his arm to aim at the target. His arm was steady, his breathing calm. 

Jace smiled at him while stepping away, drawing one of his daggers out of his thigh holster. “Just keep shooting. No matter what happens, you keep shooting. Understood?” Jace didn’t leave Alec another option but to nod.

“Good,” Jace said softly, waiting for the exact moment when Alec was about to release the arrow to plunge the dagger into his own thigh. A small gasp escaped him at the pain and he saw Alec shudder, missing the bullseye by a few inches.

“What the-?” 

But Jace didn’t let him finish. “Keep shooting, Alec. And start hitting the target! You need to be able to fight no matter what happens to me.” 

Alec huffed, but he nocked another arrow, trying to concentrate just on the simple task he could do in his sleep. Aim, release, hit spot on. But he couldn’t stop his hands briefly from shaking when the pain he felt from Jace intensified, flaring up white in his brain as if it were his own. He cursed when the arrow missed the center by an inch. 

Jace cursed as well, but otherwise he remained silent, the dagger still stuck in his thigh. He nodded approvingly when Alec didn’t turn but just nocked another arrow. Jace grabbed the hilt of the dagger tighter and turned it a little, taking in the tensing of Alec’s body. But to his satisfaction, Alec’s hands didn’t shake this time. 

Alec gritted his teeth when the pain inside his brain grew sharper. Damn Jace and his training methods. But as he saw the need for this as well, he just reached for his third arrow, forcing his breath to calm and his hands to grow steady. He pushed Jace’s pain back into a corner of his mind - still aware of it but not letting it dominate his body and actions anymore. The faster he mastered this, the faster he could put an Iratze on Jace’s skin. 

The third arrow hit spot on. And so did the fourth. Even when the pain flared up once again and turned from white to burning red, Alec hit the bull’s-eye. When all his arrows were shot, he turned around and was by Jace’s side in a second. Jace’s trouser leg was soaked with blood but Jace just grinned proudly at him, no sign of pain on his face. 

“You are…” But Alec was lost for words to describe what Jace really was. Reckless? For sure. An idiot? Certainly. A genius for coming up with a possibility for them to learn to navigate their bond without having to close it? Also yes. So instead of finishing his sentence, he just glared at Jace, yanking the dagger out of the wound. It was a deep flesh wound, painful, but nothing serious. He removed the torn gear around it and with a quick motion, he drew an Iratze next to the wound. He watched it close itself, sighing relieved when no trace of the gaping cut was left when the rune started to fade. He brushed tenderly over the previously injured skin, relishing Jace's soft moan his gesture got him. 

“Get ready. It’s your turn now.” Alec still glared at Jace while he fetched the still blood-stained dagger from the floor and nodded towards the target. “And you better hit the target each damn time.” 

Jace just grinned at Alec, pulling his throwing knives out of his holster. He definitely planned to do so. 

Without further ado, Alec did the same as Jace: he stabbed himself the moment Jace aimed, not bothering to clean the dagger first. They were bound together by their souls, a little bloodshed wouldn’t make a difference. 

* * *

Their training method was as brutal as it was effective. Soon they mastered to push the other’s pain as much to the side as needed to still function, but to keep the knowledge about where and how severely the other was hurt. 

Hodge tried to teach them how to close their bond a few more times but finally he stopped, as Jace and Alec grew more and more hostile towards him and his suggestions. Alec was an adult anyhow, and when Jace turned eighteen, they didn’t show up at their scheduled training sessions anymore. When he dared to ask why, Jace just gave him a blank and slightly amused look. 

“What do _you_ think you can still teach us, Hodge?” The blank expression turned into heat, and Jace’s eyes turned a shade darker. 

And when Hodge just swallowed, unable to come up with a valid answer, Jace just shrugged and turned away. “That’s what I thought.” 

Normally, Hodge was required to report such subordinance, but something in Jace’s stare told him it was better to let this issue rest. 

* * *

“Hey,” Jace smiled at Alec who stepped out of the shower, his hair still slightly damp and his body glistening with small drops of water. He wore only boxer briefs, a towel slung around his shoulders. 

Jace lay sprawled out on the bed, a book carelessly tossed to the side, his eyes shamelessly roaming over Alec's half-naked body. Soon after their runing ceremony they had started to sleep in the same room, like they had done when Jace had first come to the Institute and had been haunted by nightmares. Jace’s dreams were protected now by Alec and his piece of soul, but the need to be close didn’t diminish while sleeping. So they had just started to sleep together again, using Alec’s room as their sleeping quarters and Jace’s for studying. 

“Hey yourself,” Alec murmured, slightly blushing under Jace’s hot stare. But he had gotten used to Jace’s shameless and open admiration, something that just came with being soul-bonded, Alec guessed. He slipped under the cover, reaching over Jace to switch the lights off. Darkness settled around them like an additional blanket and Alec felt himself relax. They shifted a little but, in the end, they ended up in the same position as they always did. Jace with his head on Alec’s chest, listening to the steady thrum of Alec’s heartbeat, and Alec with his arms around Jace to hold him tighter. 

“Are you nervous?” Alec whispered into the darkness, playing with the soft hair on Jace’s nape. 

“No.” Jace’s answer came quick and sure, and Alec didn’t need to check if Jace was lying or not. They had stopped lying, even about the tiny things, the moment their bond had formed and settled. Only the strange feelings between them had stayed unaddressed, but this was not really lying, was it?

Jace’s father had been found not as dead as everyone had wanted to believe, and Jace’s father had also not been the man he had claimed to be. Instead of being Robert’s Parabatai, Michael, he was Valentine Morgenstern, the former leader of the Circle that had fought and lost the war in which the Lightwoods had lost their honor. And instead of being dead, he was very much alive and had plotted the next war: the next attempt to take over the reins from the Clave and rule the Shadow World as he deemed fit. 

And tomorrow would hopefully be the last battle in the new war. Valentine had hidden on a boat, the Morning Star, and the Clave had finally been able to pinpoint the location. The Clave was planning an attack the next day and Jace and Alec were assigned to it.

“No,” Jace said again. “He is not my father. He stopped being my father when he decided to leave me on my own to an unknown fate. And the truth is, I never needed him. I only always ever needed you, Alec. And as long as you are by my side, I’m not nervous.”

Jace’s breath tingled on Alec’s skin over his heart, making goosebumps spread all over his body. Alec wondered briefly how much his skin would tingle if it were not Jace’s breath but his lips, but he pushed the thought back, instead he squeezed Jace tighter, smiling when he heard his Parabatai's pleased hum in response.

“Me neither.” Alec was slightly astonished by the fact, but it was true. He was aware that it was the biggest battle they had ever fought in so far, but he was calm. They would go in together, they would return together. There was just no room for doubt, not when Jace’s heart was beating against his own chest in the steady, calming rhythm it was beating right now. 

“Good night,” he whispered, his lips brushing the ghost of a kiss on Jace’s forehead. “Sleep well.” And Jace would sleep well. He always did in the security of Alec’s embrace.

* * *

They woke up like they had fallen asleep, entangled in each other. It was early morning, the sun not yet fully raised, but it was already time to prep for the battle. Jace groaned when he opened his eyes reluctantly, trying to hold on to the blissful state of being half awake and half asleep a moment longer. He remembered the days when the only way for him to wake up had been with a start, awake in less than seconds, glad to get rid of the nightmare of the night. Now he could lay forever there in the floating state between dream and reality. 

But reality was stronger, and they needed to prepare carefully. “Move,” he whispered against Alec’s face, who had his eyes pressed shut as firmly as Jace had a moment ago. When he didn’t move, Jace nudged him in the side until Alec gave in and rolled over so that he lay on his belly. He kept his eyes shut and buried his face into the soft pillow, moaning inwardly when he felt Jace crawl on top of him and sit on his ass. 

Ever since they had become Parabatai, they had stopped runing each other in public whenever possible. Runing always had been intimate, but now it felt like a moment they didn’t want to share with anyone but each other. 

Alec groaned when he felt the power of the first rune burn into his skin. He felt it seep into him, spread through his veins until his whole body was buzzing with it. There was no power comparable to a rune applied by Parabatai. 

_Accuracy._ Alec didn’t need to see which rune Jace drew on his skin to know what it was. He knew the familiar outline and the way each of the battle runes burned. Each burned slightly different, granting him different powers. 

_Action. Agility. Clarity. Endurance. Equilibrium. Speed. Strength._

Jace placed the familiar set of battle runes on the familiar places, but Alec felt the special care Jace put into them. They might not be nervous, but they were both aware that it was not a regular mission they were to attend. They would fight against other Shadowhunters, and who knew what else. They would fight against the man Jace had believed to be his father.

“Fireproof. Really, Jace?” Alec half laughed when he felt the rather unfamiliar sting of that particular rune. 

**“** Really, Alec. Any complaints?” 

Alec smiled at that. He didn’t see Jace’s glare, but he _felt_ it. “Not at all.”

“Good. And now move.” 

Alec’s smile deepened when he rolled over again for Jace to rune his chest and abdomen. The most important rune was a permanent one. The Parabatai rune stood in a harsh contrast to his skin and was of a deep, ink black that made all other runes look rather grey. Jace brushed over it tenderly with his thumb, retracing the lines, before he pressed the stele down next to it to apply an Iratze. He was not sure if that helped, Iratzes had to be applied - or activated - at the moment of the injury, but he still hoped to one day be able to activate Alec’s runes with only his thoughts, as he did his own at some point in the future. The near future, preferably. 

“There you go.” Jace smiled down on Alec, his eyes roaming one last time over the various runes he had applied to check if he had missed anything. 

“Your turn,” Alec said while propping himself up on his elbows, bringing their faces close together. Their lips were only inches away and Alec could feel Jace’s breath on him. Their eyes locked but neither of them bridged the gap.

“My turn,” Jace finally agreed while climbing off Alec and laying down himself for Alec to rune him. 

* * *

The moment Jace and Alec stepped through the portal and onto the Morning Star, they knew it was a trap. Someone must have warned Valentine, or someone had deliberately fed the Clave the intel on Valentine's behalf. Jace and Alec hadn’t been in the first wave but the second, a fact that probably saved their lives. Many from the first wave were already down, slaughtered by demons Valentine had lured there just for this purpose, or Circle members fighting alongside them. 

It seemed Valentine didn’t care about his ship any longer. The air was so thick with smoke, one could choke on it. Several fires were blazing and everywhere was chaos, no traces of the strategy the Clave had given out left. They should retreat, but more and more Clave Shadowhunters poured out of the portals, blocking the escape routes. They were trapped in Valentine’s burning hell. 

“Jace!” Alec yelled at his Parabatai, pointing towards a shimmering _something_ in the farthest corner of the deck. Jace cursed under his breath when he realized what it was. A portal, held open by one of Valentine’s enslaved Warlocks, that allowed more and more demons to enter the ship. They needed to close that portal to have a chance to win this fight. 

As one they surged forward, intent on keeping together. But when a horde of Shax demons charged at them, they had no chance. Jace was pushed to the right, Alec to the left. Alec had discarded his bow; the thick smoke restricted his view and rendered a ranged weapon useless. He had drawn one of his blades that shimmered bluish with the grace of the adamas in it, but the shine soon turned crimson red as it was covered with the blood of the demons and Circle members he killed. He was still calm. His pulse had quickened when he had stepped into the mess. But he had a plan and with Jace’s heart beating steadily against his own, he had calmed down. Jace might not be right beside him, but he was right with him. And both knew they would meet at the portal to close it, he just needed to fight his way towards it. 

Jace cursed again when he lost Alec. His sword dashed through the air without him needing to think too much about it. This was exactly what he had trained for his whole life. He felt his runes burn and his skin glowing golden, his body drawing from all the extra power his pure angel blood and the runes applied by his Parabatai provided. His focus narrowed down to the simple task of killing. Some of his attention still lay with Alec, but he felt his reassuring presence calm and steady in his soul. He felt when Alec killed another demon, he felt when Alec injured a Circle member. And he knew where Alec was headed - towards the portal, just as he himself. 

The smoke grew thicker the closer Jace got, but he didn’t really need to see. He felt the demonic energy radiating from the portal, resonating with his angelique grace. He could have been blindfolded and he would still have found his way. Demons dropped dead to both his sides while he cut his way through the enemy, also not hesitating to kill Circle members. 

Jace raised his sword arm to slay another demon when he froze. Just for a second, but he did. They had trained for this, and he knew he shouldn't freeze. But here, in the middle of destruction and death, the sharp pain jolting through his body, cutting him like he was butter, was something different than the pain in the training room. It felt real because it was. For a split second he was tempted to press his hand to the imaginary wound on his abdomen, though he _knew_ it wasn’t him who was injured. It wasn't him who was bleeding. It was worse. So much worse. It was Alec who was hurt. It was Alec’s pain that resonated in him, coursing through him like wildfire, making him want to throw up. It was a dark, dangerous pain that bled from red to white in an instant. For this split second, the world around him had gone quiet; all noise tuned out except the thrumming of his pulse in his ears and the too quick beat of Alec’s heart in his chest. 

“Jace!”

The yell only he could hear because it was not spoken aloud jerked him out of his state. He forced his body to move an inch, barely avoiding the claw of the demon in front of him. It pierced his skin, but instead of a fatal wound, he just got cut. Warm blood was spilling out of it, but Jace didn’t bother with it. He twisted his arm and chopped the head of the demon off in a clean cut. He spun around and headed towards where he knew Alec was, the portal and the battle forgotten. He needed to get to Alec. Alec’s pain was still pulsating inside him, threatening to take his vision away, mixing with the pain of his own flesh wound. He knew the pain was about to cloud his judgment so he visualized the Iratze as he had done countless times before to activate it on his body, to close at least his own wound. But this time it was different. Instead of the blurry image he normally saw before his rune lit up, he saw the Iratze as sharp and clear as if he had drawn it. It shone golden, but dipped into gunmetal bronze around the edges. Jace never slowed down in his urge to get to Alec, but all his mental force was focused on one thing. Push the Iratze through their bond and activate Alec’s alongside his own.

Alec had found his fighting rhythm. Killing the demons was easy, killing Circle members a little different. They still were humans, they had once been allies. They were someone’s children, maybe someone’s lover. But he drew strength from Jace’s calm, from the power that resonated in his soul and runes, turning his insides a shade darker to be able to do what was necessary. Stab and kill. 

He just pulled his blade out of his opponent when he felt a harsh pain in his abdomen. A curse spilled out of his mouth when the pain didn’t lessen but increased. Blood was gushing out of the wound, soaking his gear. With his last willpower he forced his body to turn and raise his arm, just in time to kill the Shadowhunter in front of him. With a soft cry he dropped to his knees, his vision already going dark at the edges. But he didn’t let the darkness claim him, he knew he had to hold on to the light, this time the darkness not providing comfort. Jace was in the light, he needed to stay there as well. He felt his Parabatai’s echoed pain, he felt him freezing. _No._ Jace wasn’t allowed to freeze. He needed to fight. His body tilted to the side; not able to stay upright, he crashed to the floor. _Jace!_ He yelled in his head, hoping against all odds that Jace somehow would hear him, unfreeze and start fighting. He needed Jace to fight and live. For both of them. 

A gurgling sound escaped his mouth while he tried to press his hands against the gaping wound, trying to slow down the bleeding. He had felt his stele break during his fall, there was no use trying to get it. It wouldn’t work anyway. Darkness clawed at him, but he fought back with all he had. It would be easy to give into it, the pain gone. But Alec knew he needed to hold on. If not for his own sake, then for Jace’s. Just when another jolt of pain ran through his body, he saw a light through all the darkness. A golden light in the form of the healing rune. Gold outlined with gunmetal bronze.

He gasped when the rune slammed into him, making the Iratze Jace had drawn on him earlier flare up. It burned into him, through his skin and flesh, through his bones, layer by layer. Until it found the source of his pain. He yelped when the rune came alive with its full force, tearing and pulling at his flesh to force his organs to heal, to force his flesh back together. The pain was even sharper than before but Alec smiled through it. _Jace._ He had finally managed what he had been trying for so long. He had activated Alec's rune.

Jace pushed through the crowd without looking left or right. The bond told him where to go, and he didn’t care who was in his way to get to Alec. If it was a demon, a Circle Member, or a fellow Shadowhunter who needed to be pushed away. He simply didn’t care. He killed those who were not quick enough to get out of his way, feeling no remorse; his actions only fueled by the need to get to Alec. He sighed in relief when Alec’s pain lessened but he knew he needed to get to him anyway. He needed to see and feel Alec. To see and feel that he was still alive. 

“Alec!” When he saw Alec lying on the floor, he dropped to his knees instantly, his stele already in hand, placing more healing runes and blood replenishing runes on Alec’s body. Frantically he searched for more wounds, for more injuries, ignoring Alec’s words that he was fine.

Just when Alec cupped his face, and forced him to look at him, he stopped. “Jace, look at me. I’m fine. You saved me. I’m fine.” 

A dry sob emerged from the point where their souls were connected and Jace’s whole body trembled while he scooped Alec up, cradling him against his chest. 

“I…” But he couldn’t finish the sentence. Even voicing his fear of losing Alec felt wrong. It was just nothing he could ever think of. “Let’s get you home,” Jace said instead, helping Alec to get on his feet. 

The battle was still raging around them, but neither of them cared. Alec was still too weak to fight anyway, and Jace couldn’t care less about the rest right now. The only thing he knew was that he needed to get Alec safely to one of the portals, and he would kill each and every one who would get in his way to do so, no matter to whom that person had pledged their allegiance.

* * *

Alec stirred in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering. His body, especially his abdomen, still ached. But he was surrounded by warmth and comfort. His head was resting on a fluffy pillow and he felt his Parabatai’s body pressed as closely to his as possible without it laying on top of him. He groaned lowly while trying to blink his eyes open. 

“Hey,” Jace whispered against Alec’s lips, while he caressed Alec’s throat, brushing over his Deflect rune. 

Alec blinked lazily, trying to figure out where he was, his mind slowly slipping from sleep into being awake. He sighed contentedly. He was in his own room, wrapped in a soft blanket and Jace. 

“How are you?” Jace looked tired, as though he hadn’t slept at all but had stayed awake instead to guard Alec’s sleep, which he probably had.

“I’m fine. Hurts a little still.” Alec shifted to lay more on his side and be better able to face Jace. “But I’m really fine,” he added when he saw the concerned look on Jace’s face. “How are the others?” If Alec was honest, he wasn’t particularly interested in the others, though of course he hoped they had somehow managed to beat Valentine and his demons.

Jace just shrugged. He had dragged Alec through a portal back to the New York Institute and forced a Warlock to treat him right away. Briefly the Warlock had tried to resist, pointing out that there were more severely injured persons waiting. But one look into Jace’s nearly black eyes had changed the Warlock’s mind and he had dropped everything to rush to Alec. 

After Alec had been patched up and fully healed, Jace had taken him to their room, the presence of the others in the infirmary a disturbance he didn’t want. What Alec needed were not curious stares and nosy Shadowhunters but the reclusiveness of their room. And his closeness. Their bond hummed contentedly between them, the severe injury had put a heavy strain on it, thinning and tightening it at the same time. But with Alec close and both safe, their bond relaxed again between them. 

“The Clave lost many of its people, including some from our Institute. In the end someone closed Valentine’s portal and they blew up the ship, but of course Valentine was not on it. They led us all to a trap. They could have gotten you killed.” Jace’s voice dripped of acid, his disdain clearly audible. If he could, he would find the person who had believed the false intel and hold him responsible. 

“But I didn’t die, Jace. I’m here.” Alec interlaced their fingers and pulled their joint hands up to rest them against his chest, just over his beating heart. “I’m here, right beside you.” 

The steady beat that thrummed against his hand made Jace relax and he felt his eyes getting heavy, having not slept the whole night, guarding Alec’s sleep. He sighed deeply before he rested his head right next to their joint hands and allowed himself to close his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Jessa, for being my beta 💙
> 
> Thank you, Windy, for anotheramazing banner ! Love it so much!

The next days and weeks went by as the battle had ended: in chaos. Valentine played cat and mouse with the Clave and Jace felt more and more reluctant to be sent out on missions, never knowing if the intel they had was false or true. It was not that he was afraid, at least not for himself, but he just saw the point less and less in risking his life on a daily basis for the Clave and their people he didn’t care about - even more risking Alec’s life. And it was not only the people he didn’t really care about any longer, also their holy cause lost its meaning more and more. Mundanes had never done anything for him, so why risk his life for them? 

But for now Jace did his duty, though he blatantly refused to go on a mission without Alec ever again. Maryse had tried once to separate them but the calm, nearly furious refusal, together with their clear determination to follow through with it that the pair of Parabatai had shown, made her reconsider. She didn’t dare to challenge them as she wasn’t sure how both would react. And with Valentine on the loose the last thing she needed was a rebellion in her own Institute. So she had let it slide and assigned them from then on always to the same mission, justifying it with the fact that both fought better together anyway. But inside the Institute’s walls she sometimes still gave them different tasks. To make a point, mainly to herself. To prove that she still had some control over them. 

“Jace, you are in charge of the Ops Center.” Maryse looked at Jace with a raised eyebrow, her shoulders tense and her voice strained. 

“It’s my day off,” Jace replied dismissively. It _was_ his day off, and he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care that they were short on Shadowhunters fit for duty, as yet again their people had stepped into a trap laid out by Valentine. It was not his problem, was it, and he had been looking forward to spending this day with Alec. There was always some kind of emergency looming in the darkness, so he didn’t see the point in sacrificing his rare free time. 

“Jace,” Alec said, grabbing his upper arm and squeezing it. “Please,” Alec added and rewarded Jace with his typical _Alec_ smile when he finally gave a curt nod. Though Alec shared Jace’s sentiment, he still felt more bound to follow the chain of command. “I’ll be in the training room, supervising the newbies.” 

The Clave tried to fill their ranks with mundanes who drank from the Mortal Cup which was still in their possession, the very same Mortal Instrument Valentine desperately tried to find. Alec sighed, thinking of the new Shadowhunters who all lacked basic skills, but he would train them - just to see them get slaughtered on one of their first missions. 

The training was as annoying as Alec had expected, and when the last of the new recruits left the room, Alec let out a desperate sigh of relief. His whole body was itching with the need to do something useful, and instead of going back to his room, he pulled his shirt over his head and went straight for the punching bags. With every blow he landed the itching relented, replaced by satisfying ache and tiredness. It felt good to put all effort into the punching, the rhythm soothing him. He only stopped when he felt absolutely drained and his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his hair damp as if he had showered. 

He was about to gather his belongings when he heard the door to the training room open and someone slipped in. With a quick step, the man stood between Alec and his things and the cruel smile on his lips - and the fact to whom that smile belonged - made Alec painfully aware that he was unarmed. And half naked. 

“Alexander. Remember, we trained together.” Sam’s eyes widened in delight when he took in Alec’s tired figure and the fact that he had no weapons, whereas Sam had a dagger ready in hand. 

“Sam. I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you again, but I’m not a liar. Get out of my way.” Alec straightened his back and squared his shoulders. He might be unarmed, but he was still the better fighter. He doubted that Sam would win if it came to it.

“Always sitting on your high horse, aren’t you? But this time, you’re alone.” Sam sneered at Alec, the dagger fidgeting in his hand effortlessly.

“Did I ever need someone else to kick your ass?” Alec gave back, eyeing Sam intently, waiting for his opportunity to attack. 

“Speaking of asses… Who of the two of you likes to take it up the ass? Oh, you don’t need to pretend you don’t do it with him. I’ve _watched_ you since my arrival yesterday. You two are Parabatai and it’s disgusting. And forbidden. And we both know how it will end. With the two of you getting deruned. And I could easily speed this up. We both know that your mom listens to me, don’t we? So why don’t we cut the crap and you get on your knees and show me some gratitude for keeping my mouth shut while opening yours wide?” 

Alec stared at Sam for a moment, speechless at the words, his mind spinning with the damage a false accusation like that could do to him and Jace. That Sam was not above lying was already a proven fact. It was just a tiny moment, but Alec’s freeze gave Sam the opportunity to draw closer, his lips still curled into a taunting smile. The smile was wiped off his face when a belt closed around his neck and he was pulled backwards, away from Alec and into Jace’s deadly embrace. Jace had rushed to check on Alec, alarmed by the spark of anger and fear in their bond

Alec’s eyes locked with Jace’s and he relaxed instantly. The thrumming from his own pulse in his ears lessened when his heart adopted Jace’s calm beat, and a sudden peacefulness took over. Sam’s small gasps for air faded to a tune in the background. A strangled sound left Sam’s mouth when Jace kicked against his hand, making him lose the dagger that clung to the ground with a soft thud. Sam made another sound, probably an attempt to talk - but neither Alec nor Jace paid him any attention. 

“My savior,” Alec murmured lowly to Jace, and meant it exactly like that. Not mockingly or as a joke. And not only in this particular situation. He had never known that he needed saving, but Jace had done so anyway. And he knew he had saved Jace in return that day when they had met for the first time in the exact same room.

Alec took in Jace’s body. His knuckles turned white with the firm grip he held Sam in, his biceps flexing and his runes flaring up golden. He looked controlled, but his anger was shimmering through, making him glow around the edges. Alec knew Sam didn't have the faintest hint of a chance against him. He heard Sam’s gasping getting more desperate, accompanied by the shuffling of his feet to get a better stance, but Jace was not wavering. He stood still as a statue, the belt slung firmly around Sam’s neck, his eyes glued to Alec’s. 

“Don’t,” Alec whispered into the silence of Sam’s struggle, and when he saw Jace’s eyebrow raising in a question, he clarified. “Don’t let go.” 

Jace’s eyes turned a shade darker when he tightened his grip, pulling the belt tighter like Alec would pull on his bow string. Briefly Alec dragged his eyes away from Jace’s intense stare to watch Sam. He saw an understanding settling on his face when Sam realized that this was not a training fight. This was not a joke. This was real. Alec saw his eyes widen and dip into panic, his eyes bright and blue, turning lighter the longer Jace held him in his deadly grip. With every shade that Sam’s eyes turned lighter, Jace’s grew a shade darker, and Alec knew that it was reflected in his own. Sam fought for real now, his hands clutching at the belt around his throat, trying to loosen it. But Jace just pulled tighter, and soon the shuffling went quieter. The gasping fainter. The struggle weaker.

Sam’s eyes started to glaze over, a translucency infiltrating them which Alec had never seen before. He had seen many die. Most killed by his own hands. Demons, Vampires, Warlocks, Seelies, Wolves. Even Shadowhunters. But never like that. Never as a sacrifice for him, as the ultimate gesture to protect him. Them. Which, ultimately, was the same. Alec had never taken his time to see the life drop out of someone and suck into someone else instead. Sam’s eyes grew lighter, blending into a bright turquoise just as the sea did on a sunny, cloudless and windless day. But Alec didn’t have eyes for Sam anymore. He just had eyes for Jace, whose eyes shone bright, but not with light. With a reassuring darkness, as if it were emerging from the deepest point of the ocean. Emerging from their joint souls. 

A shudder ran through Sam’s body and then he grew still, his eyes nearly completely white but sparkled with blood-red spots. Jace lowered him down to the floor without sparing him another look or thought. Jace was in front of Alec a second later and without hesitating, he crashed their lips together. It was not a conscious decision, on either side. It was the primal need to possess the other’s body, just as their souls possessed each other. To celebrate their victory. The sacrifice. After they had crossed this line together, there was no point holding back any longer. 

Alec opened his mouth instantly, greedily accepting Jace’s ravenous tongue, moaning shamelessly while letting his hands roam over Jace’s body. It was an instinctive need that urged him on, the need to be as close as possible. The same need that had pulled them together from the moment they had met, what had made them become Parabatai later. They had tried to suppress it, but this phase was over. To see what Jace was willing to do for him, to see what he himself was willing to do for them, was enough to bring the last restraints down that had held Alec back. There was no barrier left and he just gave in to Jace’s exploring hands and demanding lips. 

Jace turned them and pushed Alec towards the door, their bodies glued to each other, hip on hip, chest on chest and their lips never stopped touching. They never stopped kissing. They needed to explore the other, feel the other, taste the other. The salt on their skin, the sweetness of their lips, the flavour that belonged just to them. 

When Alec’s back hit the door he reached behind him without hesitation, opening it without thought of who might see them while crossing the short distance between the training room and their own like this. All thoughts of the outside world, of the meaning it once had held for them, had faded into the background when their lips had connected. They didn’t care to hide the corpse they left behind or worry about the _what ifs_. 

Their bond lay bright and equally dark between them, flaring up more with each kiss, each touch and each moan. Alec had no idea where his feelings started or ended, he just _felt._ Mostly the need to pull Jace closer, to let Jace own him, to let him inside him even deeper than before. When they were finally in Alec’s room, their last restraints fell. Alec tore at Jace’s shirt, ripping it apart with the sheer force of his bare hands so that he finally had access to naked skin. Jace hissed when Alec’s nails dug deep into his back while pulling him closer, but he didn’t try to get away. On the contrary, he just pressed his body closer, knotting his fingers in Alec’s hair to yank his head back. 

A deep, throaty moan escaped Alec when Jace tugged at his hair forcefully, growing only louder when Jace’s mouth found his neck. Jace bit down, burying his teeth in Alec’s skin just above the prominent Deflect rune until Alec squirmed in front of him. Just then he let go to lick and suck at the bruise, his lips not less demanding than his teeth. 

Their hips ground against each other in a quick, feverish rhythm, both already rock hard, their cocks straining painfully against the rough fabric of their pants. Jace snarled impatiently while his hands unbuckled Alec’s belt and unzipped his fly, yanking the training pants off Alec as quickly as he could. He squeezed Alec’s ass tightly, making Alec yelp and moan at the same time, while his lips found Alec’s nape again to suck another bruise, another mark on Alec, just next to the first.

It was the first time for both of them, as there had never been another person in their life that had mattered even remotely enough to get intimate with them, but neither of them felt nervous or shy. It was as if their bodies had known all along what their minds had finally realized. That this was what they were supposed to be doing. This was just right. This was everything they needed. Not more, but also not less. 

Jace let his fingers slip in Alec’s crack, parting his cheeks with his other hand to get better access. He gathered the sweat there to wet his finger before he circled Alec’s virginal hole, rubbing over it, tugging at the sensitive rim before he pushed in to the first knuckle. 

Alec’s lips formed a silent _o_ at the sensation of being breached for the first time and his hips gave an involuntary jerk forward, sliding his achingly hard cock against Jace’s still way too clothed one. The feeling was nearly too much. It felt too good, it felt like too little too soon and all he could do was push back to make Jace go in deeper, to breach him further, even if it were too soon. But he needed this. He needed this so much. His nails left red lines on Jace’s back, even drawing blood when Jace gave in to Alec’s pushing, and went in deeper, exploring Alec’s inner walls with his index finger. 

Jace still wore his pants and he _needed_ them off, but he also needed his fingers to stay exactly where they were. On and in Alec’s ass. “Alec,” he panted while he pushed in just a little deeper, making their bond change into a more blinding color, and thankfully Alec understood what his Parabatai wanted without needing Jace to use actual words. Alec unbuttoned Jace’s fly and pulled his pants down, and _finally_ there were no disturbing clothes left between them. 

Their cocks were trapped between their grinding bodies, pre-come easing the slide. They both could easily come from this, but both needed more. Alec let his head drop to Jace’s shoulder when Jace worked in his second finger alongside the first, stretching him wide open. Alec’s breathing was ragged, soft moans spilled out of his mouth that mixed with little, pained yelps. It burned, but underneath the pain lay a pleasure Alec knew he would never get enough of. A pleasure that was a promise for an even greater one, once Jace would be buried inside him with more than just fingers. So he relaxed his body, accepting the burn and the intrusion, taking the fingers he was given. But he needed more. 

“Please, Jace.” The words left Alec’s mouth without thought, begging for it. He felt Jace’s lips curl into a smile against his skin at his needy tone, but he didn’t care. He was needy. He needed this. And so much more. And as Jace was just as needy as he himself, there was no point in hiding it. 

When Jace withdrew his fingers, Alec whined lowly in his throat at the loss, but he wasted no time. He threw himself on the bed, spreading his legs wide, pulling Jace on top of him between his readily opened thighs. Jace followed willingly, his lips finding Alec’s, biting down when Alec was too slow to open them for his liking. Jace tasted blood in his mouth and he sucked greedily at the bruise on Alec’s bottom lip before he turned the biting into a soft and dreamy kiss, making them both shiver with love and want.

Alec spread his legs even wider than before to give Jace even better access, and he moaned into Jace’s mouth when Jace’s exploring fingers found his hole again and pushed in without further ado, claiming him once again as his. Jace fucked him with his fingers at a relentless pace, pleasure jolting through Alec’s body each time Jace pushed in, each time he twisted his fingers inside him to rub against his inner walls, each time he spread him more open. 

Alec spat on his palm and wrapped his hand around Jace’s cock, his thumb brushing over the head, collecting the pre-come and making Jace buck into his fist helplessly. The spit was all the lube they had, but Alec didn’t mind. He wanted it to burn, he wanted his body to be set on fire, he wanted every fibre of his being to resonate with Jace breaching him. He hooked his hands under his knees and pulled his legs up to expose himself more, without Jace retreating his fingers.

“Fuck,” Jace panted when he watched mesmerized how his fingers vanished into Alec’s ass, Alec’s rim already puffy and red, and stretched wide to accommodate his fingers. 

“Please,” Alec begged again and Jace gave in instantly. He withdrew his fingers just to replace them with his cock. 

When the blunt head of Jace’s cock pushed against his already sensitive hole Alec moaned helplessly in anticipation. Jace didn’t waste time but pushed in with one powerful snap of his hips. Both groaned when the tight ring of muscles gave in, allowing Jace to fuck in deeper, burying his cock inch by inch into Alec’s willing body. Carving a space that was shaped like him. Alec arched his back in response, the feeling overwhelming. It hurt but the pain was laced with an unbelievable pleasure and when Jace bottomed out, Alec stopped breathing for a moment. 

The pain inside them grew sharper, but it didn’t emanate in their bodies, it did it in their souls. It was the same pain they had felt at their runing ceremony, only more intense. Their souls were split open yet again, just like Alec’s body had been. Jace stilled inside Alec, just holding on to him, his head buried in his nape. Their souls were ripped out of their bodies violently, making them shiver until they cracked, forced open by the already existing bond that tried to cut in deeper. More parts of their souls were burned away just to emerge in the other’s soul. They merged together more, until the edges of their own souls became blurry and bled together. The parts were rearranged and they tried to find their way back to their old homes. When they finally fully settled back in their bodies and their bond flared up in the brightest, most blinding light, Jace started to move and Alec to breathe. 

Jace moved on instinct, the primal need to possess Alec, to be possessed by him, overtaking everything else. With every thrust he drove himself deeper into Alec’s pliant body, securing their souls more into their designated spots. They panted in the same rhythm, Alec meeting every powerful thrust with his own hips, needing to take Jace in deeper. Deeper than he had ever thought possible. Jace reached spots inside him he had never known he possessed. 

With each snap of his hips, Jace managed to drive in further and the pleasure from taking Alec, from Alec letting him take him, was nearly unbearable. His whole body was set on fire, his soul burned alongside Alec’s and his skin ached to be touched and held by his Parabatai, soothed by Alec’s nails that scrubbed over his back, adding more angry looking red marks to the existing ones. 

He fisted his hand around Alec’s cock to stroke him in the same rhythm as he thrusted into him. The fire curled into a hot ball in his guts, his hand wrapped tighter around Alec’s cock, stroking him harder. He knew Alec was close, could feel it as if it were his own orgasm approaching. He increased his effort and sped up, drinking in the sight of Alec’s blown-wide pupils and his parted lips that never stopped to spill little, raspy moans. When Alec screamed his name while he came, painting them both in hot white streaks, the hot ball inside him turned into liquid fire and Jace came with a shudder, buried to the hilt in his Parabatai. His whole body spasmed with the force of their joint orgasm and he felt Alec shiver under him. 

They clung to each other helplessly, waves of pleasure crashing over them, threatening to drown them. They were held afloat only by Alec’s hands on Jace’s back and Jace’s lips on Alec’s throat. When they stopped shaking, Alec pulled at Jace’s hair to guide him to his lips and when they found each other, both moaned. They moved their lips against the other, their eyes shut and their bodies still joined. Alec wrapped his legs around Jace’s waist, not planning to let him go or draw away. They kissed until their lungs screamed for air and then a little longer before stopping, gasping for oxygen, just to start the next kiss right away. They stayed like this; kissing, caressing and kissing again until their eyes started to flutter and sleep took over. But they didn’t move. They stayed like they had been when their world had changed one more time. Jace buried in Alec, their bodies joined just like their souls were.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, Jessa, for betaing this fic and for your constant support throughout it 💙
> 
> Thank you Windy for the amazing banner, Ob am so in love with it 💙😍💙

Maryse stood behind her desk, her arms crossed over her chest, a deep frown etched into her features. That a Shadowhunter had been killed under the roof of her Institute without any sign of the wards having been breached was one thing. That the Shadowhunter in question had a history with her son another. And that Alec had been the last person known to be in the training room where the Shadowhunter had died something completely else. The cause of death was also worrying. Strangled to death with a belt. It was so _unshadowhuntery._

The sharp knock to the door interrupted her thoughts, but before she could call the person on the other side of the door in, the door opened and Alec stepped in. The frown on Maryse's face deepened at the disrespect, and when not only Alec showed up - for whom she had sent - but Jace as well, on the heels of his Parabatai, the line between her eyes grew as sharp as it could get. 

“Mother.” Alec nodded towards her and took the chair in front of her desk without her offering it, leaning back comfortably and looking at her with a question mark in his eyes. Jace followed his example and pulled another chair in front of the desk to sit by his Parabatai’s side. His eyes were also fixed on her, but without a question in them. His stare was calm and steady, the intensity making her shudder. She pulled at her turtleneck nervously, suddenly feeling as if she couldn’t properly breathe. She was still standing, feeling awkward in her own office. After a second of hesitation, she sat down as well, the advantage of towering over them hadn’t felt like one. 

Alec’s calm was not a pretense. Of course he knew why he was here. They had left Sam’s corpse in the training room and it had been only a question of hours since his body was found. But just as the night before, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Jace next to him was calm as well, but also tense, danger radiating from him, barely hidden under his stoic surface. Alec rearranged his sitting position, pressing his thigh against Jace’s, who immediately relaxed under the touch. A small smile tried to tug on Alec’s lips at that, but he kept his face neutral.

“We have found Sam Youngstern’s body in the training room this morning. He was killed.” Maryse tried to sound calm, but she clearly had to fight for that control, her hand trying to loosen the tight collar of her pullover once again. 

“And?” Alec quirked an eyebrow, shrugging. 

“Did you happen to notice something, Alec? You were the last one training there last night. You could at least pretend to care. One of ours died!” Maryse couldn’t hide the hint of irritation and impatience creeping into her voice, but it didn’t get her the result she was used to. Alec just raised his eyebrow higher, as relaxed as before.

“No, mother. I didn’t notice anything. And _we_ die every day because you don’t get the intel straight you gather. I don’t know why I should start to care now about someone I didn't even like. If this is all, Jace and I have more important things to do.” Alec was already rising from his chair, not waiting for a dismissal.

Maryse gaped at him, speechless for once. She opened her mouth to close it again, and before she could think of a retort, she caught Jace’s cold glare. Where Alec’s features had been neutral, Jace’s weren’t. They were now openly hostile and from a deadly coldness that made her chill to the bones. She pressed her lips into a thin line, swallowing down all things she liked to say together with her pride as a leader. She sighed silently in relief when he finally turned away to follow his Parabatai outside.

* * *

Though Maryse tried to prevent it, rumors started to spread. She didn’t try to quash them because she believed the rumors to be untrue, but to protect their family name. Though no one dared to voice the concerns out loud, especially not when Alec or Jace were present, they were there and resounded throughout the whole Institute. That they had something to do with the death of Sam Youngstern. And that they were suspiciously close, even for a pair of Parabatai. 

Maybe with Izzy around, who had always had a good talent to steer rumors into the direction she wanted, things would have gone a little different. But Izzy was far away with the Iron Sisters, completing her knowledge of forging weapons and would stay there for the foreseeable future. 

When someone accidentally mentioned something in Alec or Jace's presence, both had different ways to deal with it, both ways equally effective. Alec just glared at the person with a raised eyebrow, letting his eyes grow darker each second the other didn’t avoid his gaze. The silent threat was enough to send cold shivers down the spine of each recipient of his glares, and at the end all gave in, stammering an apology and running off as fast as possible without seeming to flee. Jace’s approach was more _hands on_ , and so their fellow Shadowhunters doubled their efforts to keep their mouths shut whenever the pair of Parabatai was close by. But the rumors never fully died and it was just a matter of time before someone would file an official complaint or report, to the Clave or Maryse directly. 

Both were aware of it, but neither could bring themselves to waste time thinking about it in too much depth. They were too lost in each other, in their feelings, and their bond. Each day that passed brought them yet another step closer, though both had no idea how that was even possible. But also each day made them more reckless, not bothering to hide their touching hands, their lingering looks or their brushing thighs. Each day made them care less about the Clave, the threat Valentine posed to the Shadow World, the Institute or the holy duty assigned to them by the angels. It all had started to lose meaning a long time ago, and now they could barely remember why they bothered with all they did on a daily basis. Hunts. Patrols. Missions. 

Jace huffed and Alec rolled his eyes when they received their newest. Some Ravener demons had been spotted in Times Square, and they were supposed to find and kill them. Nothing exciting, nothing new. But it gave them an excuse to get out of the Institute, so they accepted it after the first reluctance, but blatantly refused to take another Shadowhunter with them. It took more than a few demons for them to need more than each other. 

“At least the weather is nice,” Alec stated while stepping through the portal a Warlock had graciously provided, and into the sun. He felt his Glamour rune flare up when Jace joined him on the other side, slipping an arm around his waist.

“Hm, very nice indeed. Let’s kill them and then let’s get somewhere less crowded.” Jace pressed a kiss to Alec’s neck, making goosebumps spread all over Alec’s body, setting his body on fire with just the brush of his lips. 

He laughed at the clear disdain in Jace’s voice and his glare that was directed at the many mundanes that hurried along their way, totally oblivious of the danger they were in from the demons that were looking for a mundane snack. And totally oblivious that probably the most dangerous predators stood right in the center of the square, covered in runes and armed to the teeth.

“Alec,” Jace warned, reaching for his blade, and a second later Alec had an arrow nocked and released, the first Ravener demon falling dead to the ground before vanishing back to the hell dimension it had come from. 

The rest of the horde followed suit. The demons Alec wasn’t able to take out with his arrows, Jace slayed with his sword. The fight was quickly over. Ravener demons were not known to be intelligent, and against Parabatai with a fully functional bond - both Alec and Jace never thought of it as corrupted - they stood not the slightest chance. Alec and Jace had always fought better together, and recently it was as if they fought completely as one. One brain sending the orders where to go, what to do, where to charge. 

Jace eyed with dismay his blade that was covered in demon blood and ichor, looking around for something to clean it with. His eyes landed on Alec, a smirk crossing his face.

“Don’t you dare, Jace. I know what you’re thinking.” Alec scrutinized Jace while swinging his bow on his back, his gear and face spotless. Sometimes he was really glad to have chosen the bow and not a melee weapon like a blade. 

Jace charged playfully at Alec, trying to wipe his sword at his Parabatai’s gear. Alec just laughed and avoided the attack with a skilful turn of his hips. But Jace had never been one to give in easily, so he just tried again. What would have been dangerous between others, was nothing more than a joyful play to release some steam, not more dangerous than a training fight.

In the end the blade clattered to the ground, forgotten by both of them, while they rolled on the ground, until they were more kissing than pretending to fight. Mundanes floated around them, repelled by the strong Glamour runes they had applied, but both knew they behaved in a manner the Clave wouldn’t condone. The risk of a mundane with the Sight catching them was too high, they were too exposed. But there was something about being reckless together, their bond humming contentedly between them, urging them on. Alec doubted that someone would be able to see through their extraordinarily powerful glamour, even if gifted with the Sight. And even if there were ways to get rid of such a threat. 

Alec froze briefly when that thought crossed his mind, realising that he really meant this thought. Jace picked up on his sudden change of mood. He stopped attacking Alec’s lips and pulled away. 

“What’s wrong, Alec?” Jace looked down on him, half smiling, half looking concerned. He quickly scanned their surroundings, but he didn’t spot any danger. The mundanes were as oblivious as always and they had killed all demons in the vicinity. 

Alec followed his gaze, shaking his head to indicate that everything was alright. “Mundanes. Look at them. Running around like ants.” He propped himself on his elbows, not trying to hide his disdain.

“I think ants are more useful than them.” Jace stood up and held his hand out to pull Alec up alongside him. “I really don’t know why we bother protecting them. They kill each other all over the world and we don’t care. So why care when a few more are killed by a demon or a Downworlder?”

Alec nodded, leaning into Jace. “Exactly. Why risk our lives in favor of them?”

“So why don’t we stop, Alec?” Jace nipped tenderly at Alec’s nape, smiling at the little moan he got in response.

“Yeah, why don’t we stop? I am so done risking our lives for anyone. Except for each other. The mundanes have never done anything to earn our protection. The Clave has never done anything to earn our loyalty.” Alec breathed out heavily, suddenly aware how much lighter he felt voicing what had lingered over them for a while now. Ever since they had completed their bond.

“There is no one and no cause that I would risk your life for, Alec. Let’s be done with all that crap and let’s just go. It’ll be time anyway. Someone will talk to the Clave about Sam or us, and I bet they think they can capture and arrest us. De-rune us. As if we would ever let them break our bond.” Jace captured Alec’s eyes with his and for a moment they stared at each other.

“They won’t let us go.” Alec stated the fact they were both aware of. 

“Well, they have to. That or they will suffer the consequences. We are done with this!” Jace’s lips fell into a dark smile that was reflected in Alec’s eyes. 

“Damn right we are.” Alec grabbed Jace by the lapel of his jacket to pull him in for a kiss, sealing their deal. Neither noticed the Shadowhunter hidden in the sea of mundanes who watched them with disgust on her face. Neither saw the fire message she sent to the Clave. 

* * *

Back at the Institute, Alec headed to hand in their report, a last sign of goodwill from their side. Jace just rolled his eyes, but he didn’t object either, just telling Alec to go find him as soon as he was done.

Alec inhaled sharply when he stepped into Jace’s room and saw Jace splayed out on the couch that was the most dominant piece of furniture in the room, since they had moved the bed into the farthest corner - they didn’t use it anyway, as they always slept in Alec’s. 

Jace was naked, except for a tight, black boxer brief that emphasized more than it cloaked Jace’s huge bulge. It seemed Jace had just waited for Alec to show up, as if he had known Alec would. And probably he had, just as much as Alec had known where to find Jace. 

“Come here.” Jace’s voice was rough with desire, his eyes flaring up briefly while he opened his lips to lick lasciviously over them, one hand disappearing temptingly inside his boxers, starting to lazily stroke himself. 

The sight alone made Alec shiver with need, the command made his cock spring to immediate attention. He slammed the door shut and was in front of Jace with two huge steps. Behind him a Locking rune flared up, Jace’s eyes sparkling with mischief while he activated the rune without having to get up. 

Jace hooked his finger into Alec’s belt loop to draw him closer, and Alec was quick to give in to the impatient tug. He crawled on top of Jace, his thighs spread wide, kneeling over him. Jace moaned at Alec’s closeness and the faint musky scent that was so typical for Alec. He didn’t waste time to undress Alec but started to mouth Alec’s cock through his jeans, following the hard outline of his dick with his teeth and tongue. 

Alec’s sharp intake of breath cut through the silence of the room when Jace’s teeth grew a little rougher, but he also couldn’t help the moan. He looked down, mesmerized by the sight of Jace’s bowed head and his mouth that took possession of him so shamelessly, and Jace’s hand that stroked himself in long, rhythmic movements. He ground against Jace’s mouth, desperate for more friction. For more of Jace. His breathing got ragged and Alec felt Jace’s own desire flaring up in their bond, mixed with a hint of amusement at how easily he could unravel Alec. 

Alec knotted his hand in Jace’s blond hair and yanked him back sharply, pleased with the small yelp his rough handling got him. But Jace’s eyes were still huge with desire and he smiled up at Alec. Alec groaned when he saw Jace’s boxers already wet with the first drops of pre-come and the way his hand never stopped working himself. 

Alec was quick to fumble his own belt open and free himself, his eyes roaming hungrily between Jace’s wide eyes and his moving hand. He tugged at Jace’s hair forcefully, smiling at the groan. “Open up.” 

Jace’s eyes caught fire and he opened his mouth to retort something, but Alec used the opportunity to shove his hard cock roughly between Jace’s parted lips. Jace made a surprised but pleased sound, effectively muffled by Alec’s cock, making Alec waste no time. He pushed in deeper, forcing Jace to relax his throat further and accept the intrusion. Jace moaned around Alec's cock, his whole body lighting up more each time Alec thrust deeper into him. Alec’s hand was still entangled in Jace’s hair, holding him effectively in place and leaving him with little more to do than hollow his cheeks and swirl his tongue. Which Jace did with delight, being fully aware how to drive Alec towards madness and towards his orgasm. 

Their bond lay open and wide between them, glistering like a lake in the sun, pulsating with their need and desire, spurring Alec on to thrust harder, spurring Jace on to take him deeper. Saliva was dripping from Jace's chin, but he didn’t care, Alec’s cock sliding into his throat felt too intoxicating to think of anything else. He grabbed Alec’s hips with both hands, holding on to him while Alec fucked into his mouth relentlessly. 

Jace hissed around Alec’s cock when Alec’s nails dug into his scalp, but he didn’t try to get away. The sharp pain mingled with his pleasure, spiking it, making him groan shamelessly around Alec’s cock. His own strained against his boxers, achingly hard and throbbing with neglect. 

Alec closed his eyes, focusing only on the way his cock slid in and out of Jace’s hot mouth and the way their bond tightened more with each thrust. Jace’s throat fluttered around him, constricting in the attempt to take him in even deeper. He started to pant Jace’s name like a prayer, inevitably falling towards completion. He snapped his hips forward and when he felt Jace nearly choke he wanted to draw back, but was held in place by Jace’s hands around his hips. Instead of trying to get away, Jace pressed forward until his nose was nestled against the buttons of Alec’s fly and all of Alec’s considerable length was nestled in his throat. The sight alone would have been enough to push Alec over the edge, and the feeling of being buried to the hilt in his Parabatai’s mouth made Alec a quivering mess. With a low, long drawn-out groan Alec came deep in Jace’s throat, leaving him no choice but to swallow. 

His whole body shuddered with the force of his orgasm and he needed to stabilize himself at the back of the couch. “Fuck,” he murmured while another wave of pleasure coursed through his body. 

Jace grinned smugly while leaning back, letting go of Alec’s cock slowly, but not without licking and sucking a few more times at the over-sensitive head, making Alec’s shiver increase. Alec didn't know if he wanted to buck into the sensation or draw away, the feeling too intense to think. 

Their eyes locked, both just enjoying the state the other was in, the state they had caused. They were both panting heavily, their chests heaving, pupils blown wide. “Jace,” Alec whispered and when the smugness on Jace’s face increased, Alec leaned down, one hand clasping around Jace’s throat to draw him in, to kiss the smugness off his face until only raw desire was left. 

His other hand found its way in Jace’s briefs, gripping his still hard cock tightly. Alec swallowed greedily Jace’s moans at the touch. “Take me,” Alec whispered against Jace’s lips when drawing away. “Take me. I’m so yours anyway.” 

Jace bucked in Alec’s fist at the words, a wanton growl emanating from his throat. He yanked at Alec’s pants and with a regretful sigh Alec lifted himself up to strip, Jace using the opportunity to do the same. 

“Come here.” Jace ordered again, his voice raspy from the thorough blow job he had given Alec. He was still sitting on the couch, his eyes glued to Alec. His voice was as dark as his eyes and Alec didn't hesitate for a second. He resumed the same position as before, but this time stark naked. He hovered over Jace, gasping when he felt Jace’s hand spreading his asscheeks and the other pushing him down by his hips. He let himself sink down, another gasp leaving his mouth when he felt Jace’s hard cock push against his hole. He was still lose and wet from the morning, but he knew it would sting without any prep anyway. But he was too desperate for it, for Jace being inside him, for Jace to own him, to care. He even craved the burn, enjoying how it made his whole body light up with fire and light. 

The same moment Alec pushed down, Jace thrust upwards, slamming their bodies together in a powerful movement. Both moaned, one from the feeling of being breached, the other from being surrounded by heat and tightness. Alec threw his head back in bliss, enjoying the feeling of being completely impaled. He placed his hands on Jace’s shoulders and started to lift himself up, slamming down a second later to be met with Jace’s upward thrust. They found a joint rhythm easily, the room filling with their grunts and moans. 

Alec cried out when Jace hit his prostate with a particularly forceful thrust, making him bounce more rapidly and more feverishly. He circled his hips, clenching down each time Jace’s cock was buried to the balls in him, trying to feel even more. More of being filled. Owned. Jace’s. 

Jace’s hands found his face and he pulled him down into a heated kiss, their tongues as ravenous as their bodies that never slowed down fucking into each other. Alec felt Jace slide in and out of him, stretching him, making his body yield to the intrusion. But still, he needed more. He broke the kiss with a gasp, his hand searching in the heap of clothes beside them on the sofa, smiling triumphantly and a little hesitant at the same time when he found what he had been looking for. 

He pulled the dagger out of Jace’s thigh holster, the same dagger Jace had used to teach them both a valuable training lesson. Alec stilled for a moment, his eyes fixed on Jace’s that grew narrow, eying the dagger in Alec’s hand. 

“Mark me,” Alec whispered, his voice slightly trembling but the hand that held out the dagger was steady. “Please, Jace, mark me.” 

Jace’s eyes widened and when he looked at Alec, Alec took in a shaky breath. Jace’s eyes went dark, darker than Alec had ever seen them, but they were shining at the same time. With love for him. With the need to do exactly as he had asked. Jace took the dagger without hesitation, his thumb brushing over Alec’s finger while doing so. 

“Move.” 

And Alec started to move again, slower this time, careful not to jerk or do rapid movements, more circling than bouncing up and down. His eyes were fixed on Jace’s hand, that brought the dagger to his chest. Just above his rapidly beating heart. Jace didn’t need to ask in order to know that Alec wanted him to cut into his skin, he knew anyway. Something they should have done the first time around instead of relying on Silent Brothers. 

With steady fingers he started to draw the Parabatai rune, with the same ease as he drew other runes, while Alec never stopped riding him. Alec hissed when the dagger cut his skin for the first time, but this didn’t stop him from moaning simultaneously. He felt warm blood ease out of the wound, running down his chest and belly, until it gathered on Jace’s body.

With every inch that the rune drew nearer to completion, the initial pain lessened, taken over by a different kind of pain - and joy. A never known pleasure flooded his body, more intense than even his first time with Jace had been. Not only his whole body was filled to the brim with the raw emotion, his whole _being_ was. There was nothing that mattered besides Jace. Jace and his hand that marked him so beautifully, sealing their bond in the primal way they both had craved from the beginning. Jace who moved inside him. Took him. Owned him. The feeling was intensified by the knowledge that he owned Jace just as much. Though it was Alec getting cut and marked - bound to Jace - he knew Jace bound himself just as strongly back. Maybe later he would mark Jace too, but he knew it was not necessary. Their bond had needed blood to be completely sealed, to be never broken again. Not by mankind, not by angels and not by Shadowhunters. And they were giving the bond blood. 

Alec growled lowly when Jace finished the rune, power surging through both their bodies when the last swing was perfected, dipping them in a golden, blazing light that turned dark at the edges. Instead of throwing the dagger away instantly, Jace pressed it against his palm, slicing it open. He didn’t flinch or hiss at the sting, he just pressed his hand against Alec’s bleeding Parabatai rune, above his Parabatai's heart. 

When their blood mingled, something seemed to explode in them. For a third time, as every good thing came in threes, their souls were torn open, as open as their bodies were. They were ripped into small pieces, melted by the heat that coursed through their veins. They gasped, the sound tainted with pain and awe at the overwhelming sensation of being completely split open. When their souls started to mingle again and to knit themselves back together, both Parabatai picked up speed. Jace’s upward thrusts became erratic and Alec pushed down as fast and powerful as he could. He was hard again, even though he had come just moments before. 

They thrust into each other, chanting the other’s name while Jace’s hand rested over Alec’s heart, their blood mixing like inside their souls were, until there were no two separate souls left, just two souls that contained exactly the same amount of Jace and Alec. There was no beginning and no ending any longer, they were just _them_. One being, one soul, in two different bodies. With one last thrust, one last bounce, they both came with the name of the other on their lips, helplessly lost in their joined sensations. A dry orgasm rippled through Alec’s body, making him shake on top of Jace while Jace came deep inside him, painting him white like on the outside he had painted him crimson red. 

Alec collapsed on top of Jace, burying his face in Jace’s nape, still shaking to the core. His insides still burned where his soul had been modelled into something new, something beautiful and dangerous. His chest stung, his thighs trembled and he just needed Jace now. The salty taste of his skin, his lips on his, his soft voice in his ears, his hands on his body. He didn’t care that Jace was still bleeding and covering him in bloody marks as he let his hands run soothingly along his sides.

“I’ve got you, Alec, I’ve got you,” Jace whispered gently, but his voice showed that he was just as shaken as Alec. Jace managed to roll them to the side without having to disentangle or let go of each other. “I love you, Alec,” Jace murmured, peppering Alec’s damp skin with soft kisses, licking away the streaks of tears on his cheeks. Alec had no idea when he had started to cry, but apparently he had. 

“I love you, Jace. So much. More than anything. More than myself.” Alec turned his face to offer Jace his throat to place more desperately needed kisses there. Both knew it was true. Both loved the other more than they loved themselves, though there was no real _you_ and _me_ anyway any longer. There was just _them_ and they were all that mattered. 

Alec pressed closer to Jace while Jace pulled him in, holding him tighter against his chest. Both didn’t think of activating their Iratzes, they felt no pain from the cuts. And Alec wouldn’t close the wound anyway. It was the Parabatai rune painted in blood, just as it should have been from the start. He sighed contentedly when he felt Jace suck another bruise into his skin and all he had to do was lay there in Jace’s arms and hold still, feeling safer and more complete than he ever had.

When their lips met and they kissed, they tasted the faint traces of blood on their tongues, of salt and something unfamiliar. _Them._ They kissed exploringly, just as they had the very first time. It felt familiar, but yet new. First soft kisses turned rough and demanding, just to grow gentle again, both melting into the embrace of the other. Both prepared to never let go again. 

* * *

A sharp knock on the door woke them with a start. They were still lying on the couch, covered in a hastily fetched blanket. The Parabatai rune stood out blood red on Alec’s chest and both smiled when they caught the other watching in awe. 

“Open the door! I am here on behalf of the Inquisitor. You are under arrest.” The harsh voice of a man rang through the room, but both just shrugged, trying to suppress the giggle. They were both still drunk with sleep and _them_ , and still they felt stronger than they had ever felt. They were not afraid. They had seen it coming, though it was a little earlier than they had anticipated.

“And what if we don’t?” Alec replied, his lips curling into a smile while he reached out to Jace, cupping his chin and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“We will break down the door,” the man yelled back, but a clear hint of despair was seeping through. 

Jace just snorted. “As if you haven’t tried that already. You would have overwhelmed us in our sleep if you were able to. But you weren’t, were you?” Jace grinned before he leaned into Alec, bringing their lips together for a deep, thorough kiss. They were not in a haste to get up and open the door. The rune Jace had applied on it was strong, stronger than anything the Clave or the Institute had up their sleeves. It was a rune applied by Parabatai, amplified by the total completion of their bond. 

As there was no other way out, they would open the door eventually, but on their own terms. In their own time.

Finally Jace broke the kiss and drew away, but not without placing another kiss to Alec’s forehead. Jace got up, collecting slowly his gear and slipping into it. With a flash of his eyes he activated his Iratze to close the wound on his palm, another flash activated both their Enhanced Hearing runes. They heard the shuffling of feet belonging to several persons outside and their impatient murmurs and snarls.

“This is your last warning. Come out. This is a direct order from Inquisitor Herondale.” The man banged again against the door, and both could hear that they tried to open it with something heavy. But the Locking rune just flared up with more power, withstanding all their attempts to break in.

This time both boys snorted. As if the Inquisitor or the Clave held any influence over them. Alec grinned at Jace. “It's funny how they think we will just come out and surrender.” He had stood up and was, like Jace, getting dressed, stuffing his holsters with daggers and strapping on an additional sword. He slipped his bow over his head and adjusted the quiver on his back. He watched Jace doing the same, strapping his favorite weapons to his body. 

Without having to discuss it, Jace pulled a duffle back from under his bed and started to throw some things inside. Practical things. More weapons, a set of spare gear. “Do you need something else? Or from your room?” Jace raised an eyebrow at his question, watching Alec intently. He had done this before. He had come to a new place with nothing and found everything he needed and would ever need: Alec. He was not afraid of leaving again.

“No. I have what I need.” 

Jace smiled radiantly when Alec put his own thoughts into words and he pulled Alec close, crashing their lips together. “Ready, my Parabatai?” 

“Ready,” Alec confirmed, pressing one hand to his chest and one hand to his hip. 

“We give you one chance,” Jace said with a steady voice, facing the door. “Step away and clear the way. Then no one needs to die today or get harmed. If you don’t… well, you’ll see. But I can assure you it won’t be Alec or me who gets injured.” 

The crowd outside the door fell silent for some moments, the confidence and the threat in Jace’s voice shushing them. They all expected a fight, but neither of them expected such calmness. Such deadly calmness. 

“Outside there are twenty Shadowhunters and more in the Institute. There is no way you can beat all of us. Abide by your vows and surrender to us. You will receive a fair trial.” The man outside tried to keep his voice even, but something in Jace and Alec’s cold determination frightened him. The lack of fear in their voices frightened him. 

“Don’t complain you haven’t been warned,” Alec said, directing his words towards the door before he looked to his Parabatai. His beautiful, angelic Parabatai. Alec smiled when he saw Jace’s eyes light up golden before they faded into ink black while his body lit up with golden runes. He felt the added power pulsate in their bond, stronger than ever. He gasped, half having expected it, half surprised nevertheless, when his whole body lit up a second later, glowing with the same intensity as Jace’s. Their bond roared between them, satisfied with their complete union and ready to attack. 

“Step back,” Jace whispered, while Alec drew his blade that gleamed not in the usual bluish tone but in the same golden shade as the runes covering their bodies. Alec nodded, doing as he was told, without questioning it; but he watched Jace intently. 

Instead of drawing his own blade, he just drew a sign into the palm of his hand, just above the healed wound from the night before. Understanding was dawning in Alec’s eyes when he saw a rune glow up in Jace’s palm. A rune he had never seen before but instinctively knew what it was for. It would blast the door open and with it a lot of the people who stood in front of it to take them into custody. 

Jace directed the glowing rune towards the door and made a pushing motion. The noise of bursting wood and yelps of pain filled the room when the door was thrown outwards, crashing the Shadowhunters behind. Without batting an eye Jace drew another rune and directed it against the crowd, blasting them away just as he had done with the door. The yelps of pain turned into screams of panic when the few Shadowhunters who still stood on their feet caught a glimpse of Alec and Jace. They were both glowing golden, surrounded by a shiny light reminiscent of medieval pictures of angels. But their eyes were not shining, at least not with light. They were pitch black, looking at their enemies without mercy.

“You had your chance,” Jace stated emotionlessly, while he drew another rune on his hand, directing it against the remaining rest. Shrieks of terror filled the walls of the Institute when Jace and Alec stepped out of the room. Their eyes were shining in a deep jet-black and their runes on their bodies were glowing radiantly. Alec held his blade leisurely in his hand, slaying the Shadowhunters Jace missed with his new rune. Jace hadn’t even drawn a blade yet, his rune too effective to need it. 

More Shadowhunters came to the aid of their comrades, but Jace and Alec were unstoppable. They made their way calmly towards the exit, no haste in their steps. Some of the cleverer ones turned around and started to run for their lives. Alec and Jace shrugged, not pursuing them, but also not sparing any of the ones that dared to cross their path, until all had fled or lay dead on the floor. 

When they reached the entrance door, Jace didn’t bother to open it. He just drew another rune to blast it out of their way. Alec grinned at Jace when he saw the sun flooding the entrance, illuminating their further path. He held his hand out to Jace and Jace took it without hesitation. Together they stepped through the door, blinking briefly against the blazing sun. They jumped down the stairs and then turned simultaneously to watch the old church behind them that contained a complete Institute.

“What are we doing with it?” Jace asked, frowning at the sight. 

“Burning it down,” Alec gave back calmy, his eyes sparkling at the thought. 

Jace laughed his carefree laugh he laughed only with Alec and nodded. Alec held his hand out and Jace drew a rune on Alec's palm, just as he had done with his own hand. Alec bit his lip and then concentrated on pushing the rune towards the Institute and to his delight, it slammed right into it. An explosion convulsed through the masonry and the asphalt quaked under their feet from the sheer force of it. 

For a moment they stood there, watching fascinated as flames started to lick at the walls they had called home not so long ago.

“What are we doing now?” Alec asked Jace, pulling him into a tight hug while the flames of the fire danced in his eyes.

“I don’t know. Idris is supposed to be a beautiful place around this time of year. We could talk to the Inquisitor and the whole Clave while we are at it. I won’t let anyone threaten you again. Us.” Jace reciprocated the hug fiercely, his eyes flaring up golden. They both knew what he meant by _talk_.

“Yes, let’s do that. And then we will find your dear father and deal with him. He has done enough damage to you. It’s time for him to burn.” Alec dragged his eyes away from the flames to capture Jace’s lips with his, sealing their deal. Idris would burn, then Valentine and his Circle. And then, who knew? They had each other, and that was all that mattered.

“Let’s go, my Parabatai,” Jace whispered against Alec’s lips while the last walls of the Institute crashed into themselves with a loud bang, the flames flaring up once more.

“My Parabatai,” Alec murmured, linking their hands firmly. Then they turned, as one, leaving the burning Institute and their old life behind and with it all old bonds and vows. To start a new life. As one. Only bound to each other and their Parabatai oath; to live and die just for the other. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos or comments, they are greatly appreciated 💙


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